In this lecture, lavishly illustrated by full-colour transparencies (wait till I get them scanned!), I discuss the poetic function (in Jakobsonian sense) of phonetic manipulation in puns, mostly those used for advertising purposes. Examples are taken from postcards, magazine ads and other trivia, where manipulation of phonemes and allophones, junctures, stress and intonation contours is affected for the sake of drawing the reader's attention to a clever use of language. One of my favourites is: Two beer or not two beer, signed: Shakesbeer, where a number of phonetic phenomena abbeer: linking /r/, high front vowel diphthongization and velarization, plosive voice neutralization after /s/, etc.